Salut, tout le monde! Ce matin, je suis retournée aux États-Unis. La première chose que j’ai vu, c’était Sandrine! Elle a dansé et elle a l’air triste…
I used to think that dancing kept Sandrine sane, but it is now the thing that is further tearing her apart.
Sandrine is extremely talented en pointe and when it comes to ballet, but when she came to the States, she decided that she wanted to take up jazz, too, so she could try out for dance team. She fell in love with jazz, and I think that is her favorite type of dance. Regardless, she has always been told how talented she was when it came to dance, and I think that gave her an ego- she doesn’t think she needs to practice!
Because she thinks that, she is at risk for getting kicked off the dance team. I always remind her to attend the practices, but she never listens to me. The dance team needs her. Chrissa and Marisol are both extremely talented dancers, even if they haven’t had professional training. Malorie has received much professional training (she attended the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre School), and I’m sure heiresses Alyson, Ashley, and Alyssa have as well. I don’t care if their trainers or dance schools were elite- Alyson, Ashley, and Alyssa are NOT dancers. They are performers. Sure, they pick up dances and can do them, but they are not anything great…especially when you compare them to others. They could probably sell you on a routine individually, but when performing aside other dancers, they look a bit off.
Oh, and Liz. I know it’s hard to believe, but she’s on the dance team, too. The only dance classes she has ever taken were jazz classes. Again, she’s a performer…not a dancer.
I think my sister is very talented, and that’s why I want her to succeed! I understand that it is hard for her, especially when the Edwards Heiresses are involved. They don’t care about Sandrine. They want to see her fall. They love it when she doesn’t come to practices. It fills them with some sort of sick satisfaction.
Sandrine probably realizes this, too, and I caught her doing something I never thought she would do- practice a jazz routine.
She first warmed up…
…and then she turned on the music and danced.
She didn’t look happy. In fact, she looked sad. I feel so bad for my sister. She has so much she has to deal with, and I never wanted dance to become her worst enemy. I wish I could help her in some way…any advice? I haven’t talked to her yet; I just lurked on her practicing. She doesn’t even know I’m back!
Sabine
5 comments
That looks, okay, I have to admit it, a bit silly! I know I'm kind of spoiled since I train at a pre-pro school, but I just don't get the kind of dancing that performance dance teams do. It reminds me of that scary show "Dance Moms." The girls on that show can do all kinds of tricks, but their basic technique is pretty bad.
I've never taken jazz classes, but I know at the Alvin Ailey School, they teach lots of jazz and modern dance.
It looks cool, but Sandrine does like kind of awkward. :)
Hi Sabine, this is Kaya. :-)
Have you ever heard of a system called "natural consequences"? It's mainly for parents to discipline their kids. Basically, it means that rather than coming up with a punishment when the child does something bad, the parent simply doesn't shield the child from the results of their mistake (or fits the consequence to exactly what was done wrong.) The child learns not to make the same mistake because they now know what will happen.
I think you may need to do some "natural consequences" with Sandrine.
If she doesn't practice, and gets cut from the team, it will be hard on her, and that's sad... but it'll also show her what she did wrong. She still may not get it, but if she loses something really important to her, I think it has a better chance to sink in than if someone just tries to talk her into doing the right thing.
Yeah, it'll harm the team in a way - but having a participant who doesn't practice harms them too. It makes it harder for everyone to learn the right way to do their routines in performance if they're often short one person when they rehearse, and it sets a bad example to the others if there are no consequences. If the teachers think cutting Sandrine will help more than it will hurt the team, they're probably not wrong.
I know you want to help your sister, and that's sweet of you... but you can't always fix things for Sandrine. Maybe this is the time to let her make her own mistakes, and learn from the consequences?
It's hard to do that, I know, but she's going to be an adult soon, and there will be no one to cushion her falls then. At some point, her motivation is going to have to come from within her, not from you.
I think it might be better to let her fall this time, when it'll just be a disappointment, rather than later on in a way that could ruin her future.
And who knows, if she's starting to get worried, maybe she'll turn things around on her own?
Love,
Kaya
Are Alyson, Ashley, and Alyssa maybe being mean to her in class, and that's why she doesn't want to go? It's hard to describe to others, but sometimes people are just so weird at you about you, but it's not really bullying, so it makes you uncomfortable and unhappy, but you can't actually tell an adult about it because you just look crazy - is it maybe something like that? If so, maybe if she just has you to vent about those things, it would be better for her?
Sabine,
I am so sorry that your sister is going through all this .. it is sad that she either thinks she does not need to practice or does not care enough to practice. I agree that she is going to have to live with her consequences, but I would try to talk to her too, it might help.
It would make sense to kick her off the team if she is not going to practices, but hopefully you guys can figure out why she is not going and make her realize that she needs to.
Keep us posted, if you talk to her. I hope it all works out.
Hugs,
Taryn
You're such a good sister Sabine! I know you'll be there for Sandrine, no matter what happens!
-Makennah
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