Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Être libre

Salut, c'est Julien.
Être libre- en anglais, c'est-à-dire "to be free". La vie est pas toujours facile. Il y a des difficultés, et on se sent quelquefois pris au piège. Il y a aussi des petites choses qui sont heureuses: un sourire d'un ami(e), un cadeau, ou une danse...
...une danse: la plus heureuse chose dans ma vie...

Normally, I hate dancing, and never once did I believe that it could be so freeing. Looking back on the dance, I can't believe I even worked up the courage to ask Sabine to dance. I thought she would refuse since she was surrounded by all her American friends. I thought that she would be too shy or to embarrassed to dance with me.

Mais non. Nous avons dansé

I reached for her hand, which was probably a little bit awkward for both of us.
Elle a ri. "J'ai peur!" 
J'ai dit, "Pourquoi?"
She just giggled nervously. She didn't know why she was scared, she claimed. However, I think I did. I was scared and nervous for the same reasons she was. I knew that people would talk- that they would say something about this. Still, confidence defeated doubt and anxiety. We didn't care about what others might say or think. That would have been a waste of time. It was more important to live in the moment than let the moment pass because we were afraid of reactions. 

The dancing didn't begin well. Sabine stepped on my feet, and she lost her balance a few times. Her mom always used to say that Sabine just pretended to be highly uncoordinated, but I honestly am not sure if Sabine is pretending. I think she may be exaggerating it some out of nerves, but nothing's changed. She's still the spastic, klutzy, uncoordinated girl I knew when I first met her.

I decided to get creative and spin her, and that actually worked out well. It didn't result in an injury. She smiled at me and said, "Je me sens libre...comme un oiseau!"
Of course she'd say that, and it brought back good memories of our childhood. We were once sitting on her balcony watching the birds fly high above us, and Sabine proclaimed that she wanted to do that. She wanted to be a bird who could fly away and be free. No restrictions, no strict parents to hold her back. Free.

That was how I felt when I was dancing with her- free. Even though others were staring, we didn't care. Dancing with her was the closest thing we as people could get to being birds. She wasn't being controlled by her mother, and I wasn't being controlled by my father. It was just us, the music, and the dance floor.

Je me sens libre. Je suis libre.

-JH

3 comments:

Sara said...

So glad you worked up the courage to dance with Sabine. I can't wait to see where this goes.

~Sara

Leah Rebecca Gare said...

I am so glad you worked up the courage, Julien! Bonne chance! I am rooting for you.

Reese said...

Hi Julien! I am so glad that you had the courage to dance with Sabine. You must be so proud and it was so sweet!

I know how it feels to be "free". That is how I feel when I am writing or am on stage. Congrats! :)

Love,
Reese <3